Start the Car

 With Kane-like ponderance, I find myself in the height of summer realising I didn’t finish my last blog post and return weeks later to most likely hit the bar from 3 yards out…. But here goes…

The Euros feel like an age ago now, I’ve enjoyed detaching from the footie and watching pure grit and sporting endeavour at the Olympics, Chelsea have since signed 87 more players, there’s been more goals scored on Day 1 of the Championship season today than I’m likely going to see all season under Dycheball and Everton remain for sale longer than an unused Joey Biden for president flag. 

So let’s recap, with a dose of perspective earned from putting some distance between another glorious English failure and today. Sometimes the game of football is quite simple. Spain, the best team in the tournament, won the tournament. Their best player, won the player of the tournament. In winning the tournament, Spain won every game, and beat Croatia, Italy, Germany, France and England. In terms of statements at international football, they don’t get more impressive than that. And they did so by demonstrating that this crazy game is, and always will be, a team game. By far, Spain were the most fluid and cohesive team where every player knew their role and responsibilities. Even Morata.

So….England. What side of the coin to fall on. A Bellingham masterpiece bike papered over the cracks of a very flat start to the tournament and had that not happened would have resulted in torturous recriminations that honestly I think Southgate would not have deserved. Of course mistakes were made that are incredibly frustrating, the left side of the field, attacking subs only when in desperation, but at least he showed he was willing to make changes as the tournament progressed and not stubbornly stick with TAA in midfield the whole way. In many ways, the ending result was a very Southgate outcome. Better than prior regimes, a professionalism and togetherness about the team (& towards the end of the tournament the fans too), nothing too spectacular (& yes, cautious) but quite productive in terms of tournament progress. But never quite good enough to get over the line. I also think it was clearly apparent this was Gareth’s last tournament. Whether that impacted the players or not we’ll never know until they become overly judgmental and nostalgic Match of the Day expert pundits.

Which brings us to what comes next. And what comes next is somewhat delusional. Even the FA in putting out their job ad (yes, they did this!) made it clear they needed a new manager that would go beyond Southgate ball success - anything other than the new boss coming in and winning a major tournament for the first time in 60 years would be considered failure. No pressure then. We’re also going to see screaming voices for the biggest names in football to step into the breach. Yet the European champions were managed by a bloke who lasted 11 games at Alaves as his only top flight experience.  The reality is that international football is vastly different than club football. Southgate, hardly a decorated domestic manager, did a good job of improving the atmosphere around the England squad, removing the cliques and pulling all of the team together. That needs to continue.

At least, in the interim, the FA has started well by putting Lee Carsley in place. I’m interested in seeing how he does with the games he has in charge… maybe an Everton bias, but he knows the players, the set up and genuinely seems like a decent bloke. You do feel the FA may be hoping it goes well and they find their new accidental manager the same way they landed on Southgate. The biggest challenge is managing the lofty expectations… England have no right to World Cup glory in 2026. Spain’s youngsters just won Olympic gold, France and Germany will surely improve & between Argentina, Brazil, Columbia and Uruguay - there’s some tough competition ahead. It’s very conceivable England could lose to any of those teams. 

But lots to get excited about though for 2026, as the greatest show on earth comes stateside. Seeing Alexi Lalas spontaneously combust as the US team continue to under achieve, the US scramble to improve facilities from the Copa as some shocking pitches and the ticket fiasco at the final were alarming, managing expectations at home with my boys casually asking “hey Dad, can we all go to watch the World Cup final, it’s in New York!”, all while researching RV rentals and various route maps to every single US venue.

So that’s the recap. Support the Brummie. Start the car (& RV? 🤔)

Death and taxes

The Final: Spain 2 - England 1

I had to sleep on the result before posting, as my reaction is quite complicated to reconcile. On the one hand, we lost to a superior Spain, made a match of it, threatened a comeback and have reached back-to-back finals in this tournament, something that France, Belgium and Germany would be envious of. But, on the other, we left ourselves with only a fluke-shot chance of coming away with anything from this game, in my mind caused by a long-running mismanagement of personnel, tactics and mentality.

Let's deal with the positive first, before I close out my Euro posts with a rant. Spain were excellent. In Yamal and Williams they have wonderful balance, pace and threat on both flanks. At one stage they switched Williams across to the right, and left Yamal on that side too, giving the returning to fitness Shaw an absolute double nightmare. In Rodri they have simply the most complete and immovable midfielder in modern football. Their full backs were good, midfield full of purpose and a speed of passing. They are an excellent team and very worthy winners. They also won all of their games, and beat Germany, France, Croatia and Italy on the way to their final. They graced the tournament with a near flawless effort. Partisanship aside, I am glad they won. 

As for England, they were clearly (but needlessly) inferior. They reached the final having scratched past Serbia, drawn with Slovenia and Denmark, scraped a last second equaliser against Slovakia to progress, required penalties vs Switzerland, and needed a 90th minute winner from  the unplayable (in every sense it seems) Watkins in the semi vs Netherlands. That record, when you look at it, is telling. Southgate calls it 'moments' and 'mental fortitude' - but I call it 'luck' and 'warning signs not heeded'. We basically were on the edge all tournament; and whilst we can congratulate ourselves for reaching the final, we've stunk the tournament out in large parts - and been carried by rare flashes of brilliance that on another occasion would have hit a post, gone wide, or just been off target and seen us exit in disgrace. Usually speaking, these tournaments aren't a matter of luck, rarely can a team rely on playing without a real plan and hoping somebody good does something good. Just ask Belgium. 

So where did it all go wrong? 

1. Inertia - to my mind, this all went wrong, as it did in the last Euros, when the FA and Southgate decided to continue their love affair after the preceding failure. We've had 2 years to get ourselves ready for this tournament - and yet we didn't have a left back fit to start a match until the final day of the tournament, despite a 26 deep squad size. We used the group stages to 'experiment' on the midfield, despite having had 2 years of fixtures to manage the transition from Henderson and Phillips to any two other players who would be better. Likewise in defence. We've had Konsa and Gueye performing superbly at club level, yet not given time to bed into the England squad because of the lingering loyalty to Macguire and odd obsession with Dunk. The FA have been too scared to let go of Southgate, and he in turn has been too scared to replace players who needed replacing. 
2. Cowardice - nothing ventured, nothing gained. There's the cowardice that forms the inertia I've already mentioned, being afraid to replace players on the grounds of loyalty. Its an easy argument to make, "Henderson has never let me down" etc - but that logic only follows if you're being asked to "select someone who hasn't let you down". But the name of the game here is to put together the best squad possible, better than the rest of a highly competetive continent. More cajones needed in selection, but also in approach. Grealish took years to break into the team, and a multitude of reasons were offered up, "needs to play for a bigger club", "isn't playing the in champions league", "doesn't offer the right balance" and so forth. Yamal played the majority of the tournament at age 16. The Spain coach didn't give a shit, he just sees a dangerous player and selects him. Likewise Williams - he's a threat, and rather than procrastinating, he's just gone and selected them both and put in place a system that protects the areas behind them and gives them a platform to shine. 
3. Tactical blindness - we get told our coach has a force of will, strong principles, loyalty and patience. Tactical blindness is what these words essentially mean. We have all watched Kane lumbering about, being hugely ineffective in the tournament. "Oh but he scored", cry the apologists; but this is surely inevitable. Leave a striker on the pitch for long enough vs inferior opponents and they will likely score. This doesn't vindicate any decision to omit strikers that are not only more fit, more on form, but also who complement the system and squad that you appear to be using. The difference in possibilities that were apparent when Watkins came on we there for all to see. He ran channels, he pressed defences, he provided an out ball, the pace of our attacks was drastically increased. That any top-level coach can see this, and yet ignore it, should not be congratulated for their steadfast belief [in failure], but instead replaced by someone who actually sees the game that is being played before them 

The history books will be kind to Southgate, people will point to his consistent record of taking us deep into tournaments, but not since the waistcoat days of England's love-train has there been any kind of buzz about the teams we pick or the way we play. We are less than the sum of our parts, by a considerable margin, and we have seen half a generation slip away in a steaming pile of caution, negativity, and misplaced loyalty. 

We need the kind of mentality shift that Unai Emery has instilled at Villa, telling the players that they are better than this, to believe, to be brave, to improve. We need a manager who will recognise that at a major tournament we really ought select a fit left back, a manager that does his experimenting in the flurry of international games that precede tournaments, rather than in tournaments. And a manager who insists on excellent performance, rather than rewarding poor performance with continued starts.  I think Harry Kane would have responded far better in this tournament if Southgate had said in a presser "Harry should be disappointed with that performance. Great player, but that last game was not good enough, he'll start from the bench next up" - rather than just being wheeled out to go again. And imagine the impact that sort of management has on the squad. Other players playing badly know they can probably get away with it. Other players not getting a look in, know that nothing they do, in training or in their fleeting sub appearances will make the blind bit of difference. Everyone talks up the togetherness in this squad, but I'll bet most of them are right pissed off.

I could write forever. But I think my point is clear. Its been a fun tournament, not a classic, but plenty of good games, especially in the early rounds. I thank you for reading and look forward to an unleashed England squad at the next World Cup. Jose Mourinho anyone... 

Oliver George Arthur Watkins

Semi Final: Netherlands 1-2 England

Finally, some good old fashioned screaming at the telly - in a good way. England showed up tonight, good and proper. The midfield conundrum finally settled, with Foden roaming and a constant menace, Bellingham more shackled to that inside left slot, providing much needed balance (and support for the still woefully out of place Trippier).  

The Arsenal contingent remembered that they are excellent players, and played with the energy they displayed all season. Rice can look very ordinary when he doesn't play with purpose, and he brought that in spades. Saka was bright and had the beating of his man all game.

Shit, even Kane looked relatively ok, though his very style, in my mind, made the defensive job much easier for the Netherlands, with no channel runs and rarely a threat anywhere high up here pitch. 

It didn't look good early on, Simons thunderous strike making me worry the inevitable was going to happen, but then in weighed the suss ref to award England an absolute bonus penalty. Kane recovered from the suspected broken foot he seemed to be simulating, to sweep home the penalty with the same foot, and then what followed was the awakening of actual England. Foden's feet dancing, Saka probing, Rice and Mainoo pressing and recycling. It was lovely.

Fears crept in during the second half. Had Southgate demanded they return to type, or had Koeman's changes just nullified us? Would we even see any subs? As the minutes ticked by, deja vu looked to be knocking at the door. The game was screaming out for Watkins, and yet it was still a massive surprise to see him actually being subbed on. 

What happened next we will see replayed over and over, every four years. An absolute template Watkins goal, the fast diagonal run, the simple first touch to create the angle, the walloped finish to the far post, low, clean and true. Any other Villa fans know that this is what he does. Not just in general, but exactly, systematically, repeatedly.

Now all that remains is the decision about whether we want to carry that threat into the final, or hope that the ref coughs up a chance for our incumbent penalty talisman. Once again it is over to you Southgate.

Believe

A lot has happened in the world of soccerball since my last call for perspective on England’s slow and steady progression through the tournament stages.  A dozen more posts from N’Golo Birchy for a start as he exposes me as the Matt Le Tissier of blogging, cancelled sky subscriptions in 10 Downing Street… and so much more. Like it or not, this “underperforming” England team has hit every green light in town to slowly cruise through to the point of being in the bleeding semi final! Tremendous…more of that later. Here are my other highlights (& lowlights) from the last week or so of tourney action both sides of the pond:

Spain - Let’s face it. The best team in the tournament by a mile. With the most prodigious young talent on the planet. As the owner of a young teenager myself,  I will be happy to just see him in one piece by the time he hits 16, and that would be a successful outcome. Yamal has just scored an absolute worldy in a Euro semi final! Amazing.

France - Amazed they actually scored a goal today and they leave the tournament with nobody all too upset. I do think it was unlucky that Mbappe had his face rearranged in the group stages, he really never got going after the injury and none more so illustrative than today with some trademark chances that the 2021/2022 version would have buried. Au revoir 

Portugal - disappointed that my pick failed to score the one goal that would have been enough to see off the French, thus depriving us of a semi final chant of “you’re way older than his dad!” as Yamal skipped past a weary Pepe for the umpteenth time… sadly it wasn’t to be, not helped by assistant manager Roberto Martinez’ crippling inability to substitute his boss despite an abundance of attacking talent ready to go on the bench. I look forward to a repeat in the World Cup in ‘26 as CR7 continues to amble around, ably supported by the USA Jumbotrons in the stadium so he’s fully aware of when the camera is on his aging body.

Everton alumni association - As well as Bobby Brown Shoes, there has been a good showing at the tournament from Ronald Koeman as the Dutch start to warm up, as well as a few surprise cameos I wasn’t expecting, including Cenk Tosun, not really doing much at all on the field (which felt reassuringly familiar), but outstanding in his gleeful leadership of the celebrations in Turkey’s win in the round of 16, and stateside, finding myself see Salomon Rondon roam with menace against a cowering Canadian defence (he actually did score!), and even more enlightening was seeing a rejuvenated James Rodriguez pull all of the strings for a free scoring Columbia team. 

Copa America - it’s been great to have this running along at the same time as the Euros (but with more convenient start times). The USA bombed out of the tournament at the group stage (the first hosts in a long time to do so). A lot of work is needed ahead of 2026. A slight oddity of this competition is the knockout games go to penalties after 90 mins. 3 out of 4 quarter finals went to pens - providing us with another scrapbook of Emi Martinez gyrations and a Uruguay team that kicked Brazil all over the park before dispatching them from 12 yards. At time of writing, Argentina are in the final, but semi #2 between Uruguay and Columbia promises to be a great game…or a complete street fight with multiple red cards. We will see.

And onto England. Having now seen the change in Birchy’s demeanour with his latest post, this only furthers my excitement and belief. We’re at the business end of the tournament and instead of the fear of not making it through the group stage or an easy last 16, England now get to look forward and see the finish line is only (hopefully) two games away and we start to dream of what we could achieve. Maybe my decades of Everton watching puts me in a different position than most, but if we get this done over the next 2 games, I will not care one bit how expansive our play is. And that is one indisputable fact - this team are getting it done (just), every single game. Be it big players with just a flash of world class quality (Jude and Saka), or 5 of the most proficient penalties in English history proving its not “a lottery”, this just feels slightly different from the glorious failures of the past. 

Of course, it could all go up in a puff of Orange smoke today, the Dutch have shown an improving trend as they’ve progressed…but we have the players that can step up to the challenge and provide those big moments. Heck, we might even get a left back playing left back. I need a lie down…

Over to you Gareth…. Time to dream and time to believe! Just 120 minutes to hold out for penalties!

Intervention

Here we are, seemingly suddenly, at the semi-finals.  It all seems to have come around so fast and yet we are days away from seeing the Kings of Europe crowned.

I have taken some time to cool down after the apoplexy induced by the 120 minutes that preceded our sensational penalties performance, and during that time vowed to reset my mentality. I have done so fully aware that my new, positive outlook might get instantly burned, but anyway.

The root causes of my disgruntlement are twofold. 

One: I detest Southgate, and detest that he is lauded for success during a period where I consider him to have failed badly with such rich talent at his disposal. However, his record is favourable to others who have gone before, and as Guardian Weekly (who also are rabid with disappointment at the whole campaign) pointed out, it's not like previous managers haven't had good players to work with. So I hold my opinion about Southgate, but also respect the alternate view 

Two: I take a very neutral stance during competition football. This is likely because of England's usual failure, I have trained myself to feast on the festival of football and not attach my enjoyment to England's success or otherwise. Typically I support goals in the games I watch (all of them), and I root for the team who is playing the nicest footy and give me the best chance of prolonged enjoyment into the latter stages. England of course haven't fared well in this respect. To the point that I would be lying if I denied I felt at some points (mainly minutes 11-120)of our matches, that I'd prefer our opposition to go through.

Anyway. A few days of only watching AI Southgate has proved perfect therapy. It doesn't matter if he's drivelling his usual political nonsense, or if his computer generated alter ego is calling Harry Kane an immobile c*nt - he's just a bloke who will be gone soon. But the England football team is the England football team and I'm here for them now.

I don't care how we do it, I want us to scratch out the ugliest, most irritating and unfair win possible. We are England, and we will win how we want.

So on that basis, come on France, let's not make it any harder than it needs to be.

Cold is the new bold

QF England 1 - 1 Switzerland (AET) England win on pens 

We trundle on. England exorcise penalty traumas yet more. At some stage we will talk about their good run at shootouts. We have to be proud of the bottle and composure shown at the end there. It is a triumphant sticking plaster though, in yet another game where we palpably saw the energy and effectiveness drain, unchecked, from about the 30 minute mark right through to 120. At the end we were hanging on, even with fresh legs.

We joined the France and Portugal club of accepting the 50/50 of pens in favour of the unknown risk of going for it during 40 minutes of stalemate at the end of the game. Whilst it's a results game, the sheer lack of having had any practice of piling forward, at any point of the tourney, is a habit creating thing. The gear shift is a habit, and a habit we've not formed. As I watch the Netherlands and Turkey now, not knowing who will win, I can be sure that either of these teams will naturally be able to attack us, because they've spent the past 5 games doing just that.

Siuuuu later

QF France 0 - 0 AET (France win on pens)

The Kane effect was in full swing tonight. 120 minutes of watching the outgoing Ronaldo waving his arms, smashing free kicks into the wall, and running about as if his legs really hurt. The loyalty shown by managers to historically good players despite all evidence before them suggesting it is a bad idea, is remarkable.

Whilst Ronaldo was plainly subtracting rather than adding to Portugal's hopes, Pepe was a machine at the back. Playing at 41, to the standard he did, is unreal. I reckon he's got another World Cup in him!

The game was midway between intriguing and dull. France, with Mbappe also mostly ineffective, huffed and puffed and only looked a real threat once the excellent Dembele came on. Portugal held the ball well, but increasingly reminded me of England, with any possession effectively meaningless because of the chasm created up front by having a threatless striker placed there.

It seems nuts to me that teams consider the risk of mounting attacks to be greater than the 50/50 risk of elimination by penalties. But they both embraced that risk and, somewhat predictably, there was a loser.

The law of averages now suggests that England's game might actually be ok, so buckle up and get ready for the Southgate show.

Merino jumper

QF Spain 2 - 1 Germany (AET)

I'd only just got myself settled back into this football thing, and just like that our hosts are out. It has felt like an age since Tuesday (with many stages of Tour De France to catch-up on and the small matter of our seismic general election to wade through) so it's good to be back in front of the big-football-giving- rectangle again.

This game that really could have gone either way, both sides had their periods of dominance, and it was quite open without being wildly exciting. Germany will rue the wastefulness of Havertz, Musiala and Fulkrüg.

It's all getting pretty serious now, and it is definitely showing, with the free flowing football of the group stages seemingly behind us. Imagine if England play MORE conservatively now we're at the business end of the comp (shudder). 

Merino stole the show with a cracking leap and finish at the death, breaking German hearts, setting up a frantic few minutes with Germany throwing everything at it and Spain using any necessary means to stop them.

Not a classic, but the better team through to a semi.